Yes, today is St. Patrick's Day, and we all know the deal, you eat corn beef and cabbage, you go to the bar regardless of the fact that it's a weeknight, and you drink things you wouldn't normally; Guinness, Jameson, car bombs...even green beer. All acceptable and pretty much mandatory today.
The other thing that's mandatory is wearing something green. This can be a problem because let's be honest, who has green clothes laying around? I'm pretty sure I don't know a single person who considers green their go-to color, but fear not I'm here to help.
As far as I can see there are a few ways to go about this rule today, so let's dissect and find the best drinking uniform for you:
1.) The Classic
This is probably the most common of all the options. Consists of a green shirt that has white writing across it with some clever Irish themed phrase. Usually accompanied by shamrock stickers on your face (almost always near the eyes), and maybe some coordinating mardi gras beads. All items are pretty easy to find, and surprisingly enough (or not, depending on how you look at it) are probably on the end cap of an aisle at your local grocery store -seriously-. If this is the route you choose to take, I'm partial to t-shirts by Mark's Art. Anyone that does a Mean Girls reference is alright by me.
2.) The Overachiever
This is when planning your St. Paddy's Day outfit gets competitive with planning your Halloween costume. See: boas, flashing light headbands, wigs, and a trip or two to American Apparel. This type of display is typically reserved for parade days, but if you want to get home from work later and put green streaks in your hair, I'm not going to stop you. In fact I'll probably see you out and be jealous of how fun you are, look at my lame outfit and wonder why I just can't seem to get on that level...ever. Just keep in mind there is a fine line between an outfit and a get-up, and that you're most likely leaning towards the latter...
3.) The Fashionista
Going this route involves commitment, and maybe even more so than our overachieving friend above. This is when you make a commitment to a higher end piece that you know will probably not see the light of day again until next March 17. You want it to look like you just had that green J.Crew sweater just hanging in your closet, but we know you didn't and that's fine. Wearing a more expensive green blouse or sweater says, I'm here to party, but I'm not the party. The only downside is you're probably, no you're definitely going to get something spilled on you, so don't get all mad about it and just come to terms with the fact that you'll be seeing your dry-cleaner this week.
4.) The "I'm not wearing green" person
Bottom line, you're being a dick. If you think you're too good to put some green on, stay home. It's a fun holiday, and you're already sucking the fun out of the room trying to be 'anti' or whatever sh*t you're trying to prove. If this is the path you choose to take, in the words of my friends Mark's shirt:
"YOU CAN'T DRINK WITH US!"
Sláinte!
xx - C
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